Say something about gay babies.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
