i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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