I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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