im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
