Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
