god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
