There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
