Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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