He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
