We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
