Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
