had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
