Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize