He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
