The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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