Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
