he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
