She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it glows. i had to have it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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