I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
