my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
