Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
