I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
