Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
