Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
