I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize