I will die if light touches me.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
