You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
