when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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