I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
