Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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