Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
