She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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