I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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