I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
