Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
