DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
