My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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