margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
