Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize