Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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