Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
