it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize