I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
