he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
