She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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