i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
