who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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