The panties match.
I'll be right there.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
