they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
