If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
