Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
