It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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