She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize