I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
