yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
