I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
