Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
