It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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